What is wrong with me? Please Help!
by: Ruel De Guzman
It feels like I have forgotten something very important in my life. I feel like something is missing…something is lacking. For the past months, my work has served as my daily routine. I wake up, go to work, go home…wake up, and go to work, go home…such cycle keeps on repeating every day except for Tuesdays. I thought that when I finally have work and begin helping my family in my own little ways, I would be satisfied and fulfilled. I thought when I got the chance to spend my money the way I want to, I would be satisfied. I accomplished that…but never satisfaction. It really feels like something important is missing and as of this time, I hate the feeling I have, trying to figure out what could that be.
Love might be the sole word to describe it, but from whom? From my parents? Maybe. I was never close to either my father or my mother. From my siblings? Maybe. I was never close to them either. I practically began living on my own by the time I learned to put on my own clothes. From my friends? Maybe. I have lots of friends, I just don’t know if they are real. I am close to them…that’s what I think. I don’t know about their thoughts though. From a girlfriend perhaps? Maybe. I’ve been through a lot in terms of love for the past year and I don’t think that I would still love to go back to that feeling of loving and being loved. I just don’t know what to think. I find my life now very boring and with every day that passes by, I slowly begin to think that there is no need to continue anymore. I just don’t know who I am and what I want. It seems like on an identity crisis and I can’t figure out a way to solve such.
